Blog – Is The Idea Of A Kingdom Spouse / Soul Mate Biblical ?
Blog- Is The Idea Of A Kingdom Spouse Or Soul Mate Biblical ?
Aimee – 21 September 2024
While the concept of a Kingdom marriage is found in scripture, that is to have a marriage that upholds the principles of God’s kingdom, the idea of a “kingdom spouse” as it is so often used – Someone believes God told them a particular person is their husband or wife ( Kingdom Spouse ). So, they received the word about their Kingdom Spouse, and they run with it. Yet the other person receives something very different and has no interest in that partnership. Yet the person who received what they think was a word from God keeps believing, praying and decreeing for the other to wake up, get the revelation and change their heart and mind. Often, they engage in spiritual warfare around this, believing that the other must not have heard right because of enemy interference – is not biblical but instead derived from new age constructs around Twin flame and soul mate ideology.
These are both seated in spiritual mysticism that says that we as individuals have a counterpart on this earth who will complete us. The idea is that there is only one other soul out there who completes us. That we cannot fulfil our destinies or achieve our purpose without our counterpart. We remain incomplete without their presence. Soul Mate is founded in Greek mythology that says “humans were originally created with four arms, four legs, and a head with two faces. Fearing their power, Zeus split them into two separate parts, condemning them to spend their lives in search of their other halves.” Whereas Twin flame is the idea that our souls were once one united entity and exist now as both male and female forces that are seeking each other to be reunited as one. It taps into areas of reincarnation and other mythologies. However nowhere in scripture does it indicate that God has set aside “One Perfect Person” to complete us.
“Kingdom Spouse “, much like the infamous “Prosperity gospel”, is a blend of scriptural principles, in this case for a Godly marriage found in Ephesians 5 -28:33, and the idea that faith is a self-generated spiritual force that makes things happen. Rather than the truth, that Faith is the confidence in the person of Jesus Christ.
This concept of” Kingdom spouse “has seemingly gripped the Christian world and taken root in many minds and hearts in such a way that it serves only to ensnare many in cycles of false hope and even to the degree of slipping into idolatry and divination. We know hope deferred makes the heart sick (Proverbs 13:12) and this concept sets many up for years lost in heart sickness and pain.
The enemy is seen through this idea in that this ideology takes the godly gift of marriage and the love found there (a picture of how Christ loves the church) and perverts it into an entity that seeks to be idolised, pursued and fought for. Much of a person who is under this ideology is consumed with partitioning heaven and holding fast to the perceived “promise “ of a certain person as the appointed spouse. Their hope becomes reliant on the fulfilment of this narrative rather than seated in the goodness of God.
You don’t have to look hard to come across countless teachings on what to look for as signs someone might be your” kingdom spouse” – or prophetic words released on this concept declaring ‘This is the month your Kingdom spouse will arrive’. These words are targeted at the loneliness of a person whispering sweet nothings and false hopes into them until they whole heartedly partner their faith to this revelation and get lost in the sole pursuit of obtaining the object of their affection. The fervency of this pursuit isn’t so much the embodiment of love but rather the beginnings of obsession.
Strong words, yes, let me explain. Friend, You are not created missing another half that you must find to be complete. Psalm 16:1-2 says that “apart from you Lord, I have no good thing. “ Colossians 2:10 and in Christ you have been brought to fullness.
In Christ you are made whole. Nothing else is needed.
God created marriage but He did not elevate marriage to the point of making two individuals to match perfectly. Through relationship with Him, He enables us to love each other like Christ loves the church, sacrificially – but there is no perfect match. All marriages are labour intensive, character refining spaces. What about that dream you had? The word you heard or were given? The confirmation you felt you received? Well, the bible speaks on the concept of false prophecy a lot, and also admonishes us to test everything. In Matthew 13:25 we see that even the enemy is capable of sowing weeds / false seeds in us .. “But while men slept, his enemy came and sowed tares among the wheat and went on his way . “ It’s important to test our own heart also. Jeremiah 17:9- The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?” Firstly, let’s look at the foundations – Colossians 2:8 See to it that no one takes you captive by philosophy and empty deceit, according to human tradition, according to the elemental spirits of the world, and not according to Christ. Before you bank on the word of a “Kingdom spouse” being for you – look to see what scripture says. Read it for yourself. James 1:25 But the one who looks into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and perseveres, being no hearer who forgets but a doer who acts, he will be blessed in his doing. God in His goodness and His sovereignty has a perfect plan for you. Ephesians 1:11 In Him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of Him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of His will, Psalm 139:16 Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be. Does that mean that He has a marriage lined up for you? Well, we need to remember that marriage is a gift not a guarantee. But also, in God’s plan our choice/free will is involved. God may reveal someone to you, but you still have a choice to choose them, and they also have a choice to choose you. Think of it as though your marriage, your spouse, much like the rest of your life opportunities, career etc, as being a partnership of your free will getting in tune to the will of God and seeking Godly wisdom in your processing and pursuit of whom to marry. God isn’t limited in His resources. If whom you choose, choose someone else. God will provide. There’s always a redemption plan. God in His sovereignty knows who is called to marriage and who He has designed for a single life, and He plans for His will to unfold. Does this mean that prophetic word you received naming your kingdom spouse is true, no not necessarily. Like any word or revelation received, it needs to be weighed and measured. 1 Thessalonians 5:21 but test everything; hold fast what is good. Remember false words aren’t always given out of a heart to deceive, good Godly people with good intentions sometimes get it wrong. Jeremiah 23:16 This is what the Lord Almighty says: “Do not listen to what the prophets are prophesying to you; they fill you with false hopes.
Friend , our God is not a God of false hope. He doesn’t give us the fortelling of gifts to come that will only serve to keep us tethered in cycles of false hope with our focus remaining on a person and not on Him. If this is you, observe the fruit this hope held is creating in your life. Is it advancing you in your kingdom call, or has it effectively had you bench yourself from other areas while you wait for your spouse to arrive? Does this train of thought preoccupy much of your mental and emotion space? Are your prayers predominantly focused here or are you growing in maturity and understanding in all other areas? Are you slipping into idolatry valuing the promise more so than the promise giver? I would add that if you can see that you have to fight your will and flesh in this space to keep God elevated higher than the perceived promise, that in itself is a red flag worth paying attention to. It shows the natural fruit of that ‘hope’ is idolatry which often will lead you down a path of divination to realise the fulfilment of your desire. What do I mean – divination? If the person who has been identified as the “Kingdom Spouse “does not confirm it, opposes it or is indifferent to the idea to then make decrees over them is to overstep our authority. When we decree over someone something that is in opposition to their will we are effectively engaging in divination – God honours free will. He created it. So must we. There are times and situations where decreeing is valid and correct, this isn’t one of them. God gives good things to His children – He doesn’t wave temptation in our face and entice us to entertain it. In fact we are encouraged to flee from temptation. Watch out for false hope- Ephesians 5:6 Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. Holding onto false hope is the opposite of the surrendered life we are called to live. It is God who causes seeds to grow and often He will the death of seeds that aren’t purposed for us. To hold on to what He would have us lay down is disobedience. If God is sovereign, then He is sovereign over everything including marriage. If He is sovereign, then we must trust the timing and the outcome of our lives to His hands. When we live our lives surrendered to His will, our desires laid at the cross to be sifted and refined by the Father according to His will and seek His wisdom with our choices and actions then we can trust that what is for us won’t go past us. This says that when we surrender, He is faithful. Proverbs 16:9 In their heart’s humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps. Proverbs 19:21 Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.
Friend, If you are longing for a spouse and feel that you are called to marriage, then it’s a matter of heart posture. Scripture is clear in what is required of us. It shows us how to pray about the matter – Philippians 4:6-7 says, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus”. This means that God wants us to bring every burden and concern desire and longing we have to Him in prayer, even those that turn out later to be misguided (Note – “Prayer and petition”, not “declare and decree”) Then take up a posture of Surrender -Matthew 6:9-10 This, then, is how you should pray: “‘Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. We even see Jesus doing this in Mark 14:36 “Abba, Father,” He said, “everything is possible for You. Take this cup from Me. Yet not what I will, but what You will.” Jesus presents His desire and request to the Father but ultimately submits to Gods will. Friend, a surrendered heart is a peaceful one.
So, what now? Well, while you wait, get on with living! Obey the call He’s given you, and steward faithfully the gifts that are currently in your hand. Be about your Father’s business and know that His good and perfect plan will unfold as you do. Firm up your hope and faith in God alone. Matthew 6:33 But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. This is a promise to stand on!
Friend the ultimate proof of prophecy comes in the form of finished work – Deuteronomy 18:22 instructs us – “If what a prophet proclaims in the name of the Lord does not take place or come true, that is a message the Lord has not spoken. That prophet has spoken presumptuously, so do not be alarmed.” God keeps his word. Isaiah 55:11 “so is My word that goes out from My mouth: It will not return to Me empty but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.” If you see no fulfilment, in fact if the object of your affection has not been given the revelation that you feel you have received. Is disinterested or speaks in an opposite manner its important you receive that. Hear them! Love honours and respects. Continuing to pursue isn’t an act of love but of dishonour and selfish ambition. Friend, Marriage is a blessing created to further the kingdom of God on earth. God is a good Father who gives good gifts to His children. He has a perfect plan for you. Fix your gaze on Him and not on earthly desires and trust Him with your heart. Be mindful and take caution about chasing prophecy that confirms ‘ kingdom spouse’ and be careful of the teaching you consume on this as much is seated in new age philosophy and mysticism and can serve to bring entrapment and hope deferred heartsickness. I want to leave you with this solid promise and steadfast hope,
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. We know this, most of us can quote it easily. But we must believe it and allow its truth to settle our hearts and minds and seat our faith back in the confidence we have in the person of Jesus Christ.
Be blessed 😊 |
Aimee
Bold Existence Team.
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